May 2011
4 posts
3 tags
4 tags
weltschmerz →
Cat Related
Long time no tumble. I got my cat spayed, finally. She was probably insane at the vet but they played it off by saying she was “a little nervous.” She came back with clipped claws, which I wish were a regular thing for her, but she’d never allow it. She’s been improving daily.
March 2011
1 post
*rana june: Words That Don't Exist in the English... →
Gheegle: (Filipino) The urge to pinch or squeeze something that is unbearably cute.
Cualacino: (Italian) The mark left on a table by a cold glass.
Sgriob: (Gaelic) The itchiness that overcomes the upper lip just before taking a sip of whisky
L’esprit de escalier: (French) The feeling you…
January 2011
2 posts
“Walk on, walk on. Don’t look back. Don’t ask questions. Don’t...”
– John Hiatt, “Walk On”
Daily Life
Every day is a struggle not to get discouraged.
December 2010
4 posts
Apocalypse Dream
I had another ream last night. It was the apocalypse, and a comet was going to hit Earth. No one was expected to survive; it was very large. I couldn’t get together with all of my family; they are all spread apart, and I am far away. I actually ended up spending a lot of my last hours with my step sisters and step brother. There were Christmas lights. That makes me think it was about...
Nightmare
Sometimes I have nightmares about clenching and grinding my teeth. In the dream, I can’t get my jaw to open, and trying to makes it clench down tighter. So, I try moving my jaw from side to side, but this causes the pain to be worse, and the pain is really bad (it seems so damned real). I also feel like I can feel my teeth being damaged and loosened. Eventually I cannot fix it and I cannot...
November 2010
3 posts
“You were lost and got lucky, came upon the shore
Found you were conquering...”
– Tracy Chapman, “America.” In honor of Thanksgiving (Belated)
I told myself that I didn’t mind that I put on a little weight. I used to be a bean pole. But now I think my face looks fat when I smile. This is not to be tolerated.
October 2010
2 posts
I’m getting really tired of fake people. I mean, more than usual. They sit around acting like they’re tough shit or something, and everyone is supposed to care. I have better things to do than listen to them drone on about crap that doesn’t matter to me.
Sometimes I wonder if maybe I’ve already met too many cool people. I’ve met my quota. There aren’t any...
It's Full of Stars: Let's Bust Some Myths: The... →
itsfullofstars:
“NASA spent millions of dollars developing an “astronaut pen” which would work in outer space while the Soviets solved the same problem by simply using pencils.”
Totally False.
Both country’s space programs used pencils in their early years, but broken lead tips proved to be a safety…
September 2010
15 posts
Minor confidence breakdown last night. This calls for a walk.
Not Whining, Just Letting it Out
When you’re unemployed, time moves differently. I don’t know how housewives did it for so long. You can only be kept busy doing housework for so long. I guess they had other housewives to hang out with in the neighborhood. And they probably drank wine, lots of wine.
I don’t care if it does make people think of me as less of an adult: I think wine tastes like olives and ass....
4 tags
Sports, God, Family, Shopping, and Fluffy Puppies
Some people sure manage to make it seem like they are living sheltered lives. Most of them probably are, I’m just trying to account for some people who are going to try to make it seem like everything is great even if it’s not. But that makes it sound like I’m talking about personal problems here, which I am not.
Some people only post about how much they love sports, God, their...
Lock Down on 365Tomorrows →
They published my flash fiction story. :)
I Hate You, Facebook
I used to have this Tumblr posting to my news feed on Facebook back when I used to use it. That “Imported Stories” feature now says “The Imported Stories feature is no longer available. Most of the sites supported by this feature now allow you to publish stories to Facebook directly from the site.” This is a LIE. It posted all of my new entries in one vomity spew eight...
“If I swallow anything evil, put your fingers down my throat.”
– The Who
1 tag
A Common Theme: I Am Out of Shape
I had another dream in which I felt I was going to die, and Justin with me.
I believe we were going to see Justin’s dad in the nursing home (in the dream he was still alive). When we arrived, there was a large crowd in the lobby, almost a mob. We slipped around them and to a wall of elevators that it seemed no one was using.
Justin hit our floor. We were the only ones in it. We...
1 tag
A Chase, No One to Trust
I dreamed Justin and I were running from thugs and sinister teenagers in a small town. All of the roads were gravel. Some of the people were little kids doing lookout for the others. I don’t know why they were chasing us or what they were going to do with us once they did catch us, but it wasn’t good.
At one point, just after dawn, we were able to break into someone’s house. ...
“A gentleman helps with others’ good deeds, but refrains from participating...”
– Confucius
Reading Love
Sometimes I just really wish other people around me loved reading as much as I do. That I could recommend a book to someone and have them say they will read it. Then, what would follow would be that they would actually read it, not just forget it ever happened.
It’s a really great feeling to have a book around that I really want to read. A lot of times I end up reading three or four...
Random
Totally just discovered you can queue posts and have them post later. That way, when I get in a writing frenzy, I can write it all at once and have the thing post it later so reader doesn’t get overloaded. Yeah, I should have known that, but I haven’t been here since November. Anyway, that means I’ll probably be posting here again sometimes. It should be a nice change of pace...
“The reason they call it the American Dream is because you’d have to be...”
– George Carlin
November 2009
1 post
24 March 2009
These are unnatural neon colors, spandex notions to fit a form that bulges and lumps out from your rotting center. Zombies don’t belong in poetry, they say, because undead do not read, only eat. But they do not leave the house, when that is the very first thing zombies set out to do upon waking and finding that they are dead and little has managed to change.
March 2009
19 posts
10 March 2009
Title for something: The Alien who found himself in an Indie movie. or a plot idea with a better title… ———————————— I chanced to find myself at the edge of your yard, not knowing how I got there, not knowing if it was 6:30 am or 6:30 pm, nor how long I had been out. I felt freshly bruised and achy.
14 January 2009
I did not tell you to get a job, to get up early before the day has opened, home after someone has closed it. I just explained that you would not live if you did not eat not eat if you did not have money not have money if you did not work because your parents did not have money left over to leave for you to earn interest first we must have money. no one is really interested in the poor,...
10 December 2008
We are a restless bunch of rag-tag animals who can’t mind our own business, pave over our neighbors homes if we can get ahead. We take what we aren’t given we take what we do not need. When we are functioning, lights blinking in our minds, activities are rushed, everything is important. We design devices which, as metaphors, almost function too well. Treadmills are one. ...
07 December 2008
Senses dulled like yellow plastic stil gravitating toward free time though filled with thoughts of to-do. I think my mind may still be attached to an ideal I once held no to be this office jocky. Who did I want to be again? I’m stil trying to see within traffic patterns and icy roads blood splatter and senseless goals Would we still need to make puzzles for ourselves in a more...
24 November 2008
I felt I could build you something IF I JUST KEPT TRYING TO BE A GOOD PERSON, BUT NO ONE SAID THAT’S NOT HOW YOU GET SOMEWHERE. NO ONE SAID I’D HAVE TO TAKE NAMES. ————————————————- Sound the accordian song to lull me to sleep before I get to know the thing that I have lost. ...
21 October 2008
I grow weary of this game. Sometimes I take it too seriously, standing grim-still, while others roll around excitedly,trying to get money to stick to them. It’s like some kind of game show to them, wind or lose, so long as everyone is entertained.
21 August 2008
of what does life consist? many things have need of saying many things I’ve missed I never saw them when they went by I was sitting on the curb. or did I not see them as I went by? who moved and who stood? who moved? well, who could? Am I in competition with you grabbing at eggs, hatching or breaking or killing and rotting in shell? ...
18 August 2008
on my lunch I went for a walk and I came upon something lying on the pavement near a tree. A pigeon with its head twisted around the wrong way. Dead. Until it twitched and opened an eye to look up at me. I made a sympathy noise, not knowing what else to do. Pick it up and try to help it? I was already quite far gone, broken neck. Or perhaps try to finish the job. Put it out of its ...
14 August 2008
give me escape, please I will go now if you let me but you won’t I’ll be here in a decade in my head don’t make me sit quietly and listen to the droning of those who say nothing yet speak and speak and sap my kindness with no returns. This is not investment I cannot say how useless this begins—continues—to feel. ...
13 August 2008
Sometimes I laugh because I hope what you’ve said is funny
12 August 2008
There are things we learn not to ask for, that will not come, but when do we evaluate again? or do we keep adding to the list and never remove when do we yank up our heavy bodies to look up over the window sill and check if the stars are falling? ————————————————————- ...
05 August 2008
GOODNIGHT to the endless void of work-a-day-work. There has to be one thing, a something worth enduring for a little while longer (and it can’t be the money). Something where the people aren’t so grouchy and demanding. That might make me laugh if I were in a better mood. Not likely now. I can’t seem to write as anyone else but me, and I think I’m taking up my...
29 July 2008
I’ve been waiting for the rain all day in the heat now it’s dancing around the atmosphere; I can smell and feel it not coming down the leaves and branches down into my hair. Thunder, yes, and lightning still, and drops few and between long pauses, yet not for real, not for honest toiling, dropping, aching with ions, not down here with me.
My case, I’ll point, is not...
15 July 2008
THERE ARE SOME THINGS IN LIFE EACH OF US HOLDS AS STRENGTHS THAT ARE UNIQUE TO US IN THEIR COMBINATION. ABILITIES. UNDERSTANDINGS. INSIGHTS. SO WE MUST FIND THESE AND KEEP THESE AND STILL BUILD UPON THEM SOMEHOW. WHILE MAINTAINING THE OTHER RESPONSIBILITIES OF OUR LIVES—IF POSSIBLE. THESE ARE NOT EASY TASKS.
———————
I sold you a death ray...
12 June 2008
The evening was pierced with main, and from the puncture wounds dripped greed, which sank to the bottom of the pool like mercury. Everything seemed to be sinking. People were diving off the edge of the in-ground pool and plummeting down to the bottom, fast. They stayed down longer than seemed safe before surfacing again. Of course, swimming seemed to be the logical solution for such humidity.
...
05 May 2008
what do you think is the best way to stop a vicious cycle?
[next page is undated. after 05 May but before 12 June]
There is no better feeling than This is NOT my PROBLEM anymore!
Perhaps life is just too complicated for me. I am too drawn to simple and I feel no one understands me but these are different issues
my mind is a clouded mess, and I cannot make sense I am lost and all good...
02 May 2008
why doesn’t everyone just SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE?
They think it’s odd that I am quiet I think it’s annoying that they TALK so damn much.
No one gets it. No one really understands because they don’t even think. They don’t think the same way would be a nicer way of putting it, but I don’t really wan to be nice. why should I care what any of Them...
22 April 2008
I Really don’t like this piece of shit job anymore. It makes me want to destroy the hopes and dreams of everyone who crosses me. And the whole thing is fucking meaningless. I’m tired of the same questions every day. Every person seems dumber than the last.